I’m pretty transparent about being in recovery. Actually, I would say I am overly transparent. When I first got sober, I made it a point to let it be known that I was not drinking anymore and the reason is because for so long, that’s what I was known for…partying.
I felt like I was on a mission to change everyone’s mind about who I was and what they could expect from me as a person, a friend, a son and a brother.
Having said all of that, I had absolutely no idea how I was supposed to have fun without drinking, I mean…did anyone do that? The last time I had fun with friends without drinking I was 13 and having sleepovers with my friends ordering domino’s and playing football in my basement (yes, that’s a thing). I needed to figure out who I was. Was I going to be fun to be around? Would I be outgoing still? Could I still be talkative? Could I talk to girls?! These were all pressing questions.
Enter karaoke.
[kar-ee-oh-kee]
noun
1. an act of singing along to a music video, especially one from which the original vocals have been electronically eliminated.
Or as I thought “the most embarrassing thing anyone could ever do.” I was on vacation and everyone wanted to go to a karaoke bar. I was a little over 6 months sober and the first thought in my head was “uh-oh, can I handle being in a bar?” Luckily, the people I was with were so supportive and I knew that I was safe and that if anything got weird, no one would care if we left. With that being somewhat settled, my next fear was actually getting on stage, completely sober, and singing a song that normally would be reserved for the shower or alone in a car.
To answer some of the questions from above: I was always an outgoing person. The thing was, I hadn’t done that in a social “night-life” setting in so long, let alone without drinking. As I was sitting there deciding whether or not to get on stage, the thought occurred to me that I eventually need to be able to be social and go out and do fun things sober. I realized that even if this was embarrassing, I had put myself in far more embarrassing situations when I was drinking. Now, I not only would remember what happened, but I would be able to seriously bring my A game to this performance.
I went with “Are you gonna be my girl” by Jet and obviously, I blew it out of the water. After it was over, I did that classic self-assessment that everyone does after you put yourself out there in some capacity. “Everything seems to be okay, not too embarrassed right now, that was actually pretty fun. I think I feel great.” And so, I had my answer to my original question – having fun in recovery is absolutely a possibility and something that CAN be done.
Now when I get the question “well what do you do now that you’re sober?” my answer is simple: I do everything. I just don’t add alcohol or drugs into the mix. I can do everything everyone else does. Now that I am sober, nothing can stop me from doing anything and everything I want to do